Everyday Hockey Heroes by Bob McKenzie & Jim Lang

Author:Bob McKenzie & Jim Lang
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

“Fanelli!” Spotter yelled. “Get off the ice this second!”

Damn.

Indefinitely benched, I did everything else I could to support the guys. I tracked stats, charted face-offs, went on road trips and to team events. I even filled the water bottles in the dressing room. I can’t put into words how incredible it felt to have that schedule and camaraderie again. There were still tough days. Watching the guys play in an arena packed with fans and not being out there with them made me feel sick to my stomach. But whenever I was upset, the boys and the training staff cheered me up and helped me stay hopeful that I would one day return to the ice if I just kept grinding away.

In February, when I went to speak to my neurologist about my progress, I expected to hear good news.

“I’m happy with how far you’ve come, Ben,” he began. “But I can’t clear you to play hockey.” He went on to reiterate what the doctor had told me when I woke up in the hospital. “I think it’s time to prepare yourself that you won’t be able to play competitive sports ever again.”

Before he was even done speaking, I got up out of my chair and ran down the hall, dropping to my knees in front of the elevator. I wanted nothing more than to be back out there with Gabe and Murph and the team and play for our fans. I started to realize that wasn’t going to happen.

I went back to Kitchener, to the sidelines, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell any of my teammates what had happened. All I could think to do was continue to train so that, if someone did give me a chance, I would be ready. When I wasn’t training, I was catching up in school so that I could graduate on time. It was the only way forward I knew.

A year after my injury, I went into the hospital for a grueling three-and-a-half-hour cognitive exam, which I passed with flying colours. In fact, I performed better than I had before I was injured, and when the doctor showed me my latest brain scan, all the injured areas were completely healed. I was overjoyed, and my anger about being held back from playing hockey dissipated. Clearly, my brain had needed that time to recover. Everything in my life, mentally and physically, was on track once more. The neurologist hadn’t cleared me for sports, but I was allowed to start training harder, which meant I could do a drill or two in practice that had zero chance of contact.

I sat down with my parents, Rob, and Spotter to discuss my role on the team.

“There’s no need to rush your progress,” my mom started.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Spotter said. “I know you’re in top shape, but let’s make sure there are no other issues.”

Rob agreed. “We’re so impressed with your recovery, Ben, but we want to be absolutely certain that you’re ready to play.”

Before, I might have pushed back, but seeing that brain scan made me realize what one year could do.

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